I’m going to confess something that may damage my street cred: I’m a big fan of love. I’d consider myself to be romantic. I can appreciate a good love story, and I hate when love stories do not have happy endings (stupid Nicholas Sparks). So being a psychology major I have to listen to a lot of dumb theories about the “theoretical construct” known as love. I’ve heard chemical reactions, electrical impulses in the brain, evolutionary product based on the desire to mate, retarded Freudian theories (Freud is also the guy who said that male babies are sexually attracted to their mothers, so lets just say he’s a quack.), or just simply a drive much like hunger or thirst all trying to explain away “Love”. And I think all of them are completely wrong.
|Leave it to science to make depression even more depressing.|
Love is something that is hard to explain, but yet almost everyone has experienced it. And once you feel it deep within you, you know what it is. My idea about love is an interesting one, so hear me out. The Bible says in Genesis that we were created in the image of God, correct? Well after the fall of man that image became tainted, but somewhere, deep down in the recesses of our souls, there is a glimmer of the most pure creation in the universe, from the very heart of God himself, and that is love. Deep down every single person on the planet yearns to be loved unconditionally. That sort of universal desire that crosses borders, languages, sexes, cultures and beliefs does not happen by accident. It was planted within us to show us that there is something larger than us, and that it desires to know us intimately, and that is what love is. That’s a far more meaningful explanation and it also helps understand why we so often throw love away or incorrectly attribute its definition to something else entirely. Everyone is desperately searching for an answer deep within our souls to fulfill that yearning. We look for it in friends, in popularity, and in sex. It satisfies for a time, but afterword the desire still lingers, quietly whispering for someone to come and rescue us and love us. Does that sound like something that could simply be a chemical reaction or a drive like hunger? No. There’s something different about love. You don’t hear top 40 songs or beautiful poetry or selfless acts in the name of hunger or thirst. What separates love from those drives is that true love in its most pure form is selfless. Hunger and thirst are self-fulfilling drives.
|What you don’t see are 3 dogs waiting impatiently behind him.|
Often in religious circles we hear people say “I’d want to be made complete by God before I seek a mate”. This is a noble idea, but a misguided one. God created love to be shown in two ways: through Him and through other created beings. You can have a completely open and intimate relationship with God and still be lonely. Have you ever thought that maybe you’ll never be able to grow to another level spiritually until you have the encouragement of the right relationship that God intended for you? Marriage is an institution created by God, because “A cord of three strands is not easily broken”. Those three cords are God, you, and your spouse, all united together. Where you have to be careful is putting a relationship with a person above your relationship with the creator. Too often we allow ourselves to depend on our spouse or significant other in a relationship to atone for us, and when they can’t (which will always happen) it causes everything to implode. Expectations are dashed. Disappointment sets in. And often relationships cannot survive that kind of blow. Your partner in the relationship is not meant to atone for you, they’re meant to walk along and endure life with you hand in hand.
I can tell you from experience that the right person in your life can make a world of difference in every area of your life. To have another human being who loves you and cares for you and encourages and supports you is one of the greatest pictures of Christ’s love there is to see. When you hear people say things like “With her I feel like I can do anything” or something like “Since I’ve been with him I’ve never felt so safe” you shouldn’t laugh or roll your eyes. In all honesty they are telling the truth. The reason old couples who have been married for 50 years get tears in their eyes with they talk about their spouse is because they know that no matter what happens, that person loves them. You can’t take the way someone feels for you for granted. If I were to sum up love in to one word, that word would be “Sacrifice”. To me personally, a love that’s real is a love that’s willing to sacrifice. It’s so easy to be selfish in this life. If you really care about someone, you will be willing to sacrifice for them. It doesn’t have to be money either. Buying your way through a relationship will only lead to heartache once the money runs out. You have to sacrifice two things: time and effort. If you’re not willing to sacrifice for that person, then you do not love them. Plain and simple.
Don’t ever think to yourself that you are unworthy of love. If you do think that then you’re lying to yourself. There are other human beings out there that love you. And more importantly, there is a Creator who loves you with every fiber of his soul. If you take anything away from this, take away the fact that love is something more than just a feeling. It’s a picture of what God has created for us to bring us closer to him and to each other.