What I’ve Learned So Far In College

I’m going to be graduating within the next 12 months, and as I’m nearing the end of my undergraduate run and hopefully gearing up towards graduate school I’ve started to look back on the things I’ve learned in college. People say that college is the greatest time of your life, and I have to admit that it’s been pretty sweet, but also what they forget to mention is how mind-numbingly frustrating or hard college can be sometimes. I’m hoping that these things I’ve learned will maybe help you in your quest of academic knowledge gaining and life experience experiencing.

1. Attendance should be a priority, even if the professor never takes roll.
2. Grad student teachers are either really awesome or really boring.
3. You can buy a $180 textbook and never use it.
4. The textbook business is a huge scam.
5. People still don’t know how to make a powerpoint or present it without reading it word for word.
6. Middle aged women usually ask really redundant questions.
7. Watching a movie in class is still just as exciting as it was in middle school.
8. The words “take home” before any exam, test, or quiz are some of the most exciting things that you will ever hear.
9. You realize halfway through your college career that you’re not going to use half of what you’re learning.
10. Class scheduling is a delicate science.
11. No dress code is sometimes a bad thing.
12. Bringing a laptop to class to take notes will often lead to you being on Facebook.
13. Professors hate Wikipedia.
14. The words “Turnitin.com” still scare you even if you’ve never committed plagiarism.
15. Rate My Professor becomes a video game style strategy guide when you’re selecting professors.
16. Every class has a slacker who somehow manages to pass.
17. Night classes can be totally awesome… or horrible.
18. Introduction to Film is a great class, even more so if you take it with a buddy.
19. The right electives can be really fun.
20. There’s always a really weird kid in every class.
21. Review days are right up there with Christmas and your girlfriend’s birthday in terms of importance.
22. Finding out a class is canceled never gets old.
23. Carry extra pens.
24. Most teachers really could care less if you fail.
25. Parking is a life or death struggle.
26. You can never underestimate the importance of choosing good roommates.
27. Watching movies like Animal House, Old School and Van Wilder will only set you up for disappointment.
28. You figure out exactly what time you can wake up and still make it to class on time.
29. Bike locks need to be strong.
30. Seeing things like an Indian warrior chasing an 80’s jogger or a giant cigarette handing out lollipops on campus is completely normal.
31. You get excited when your school gets mentioned or plays on ESPN.
32. It’s even more exciting if you get on ESPN (done it 3 times, what up.)
33. You learn to love multiple choice.
34. Discovering that the professor puts his powerpoints online is exciting.
35. Finding awesome places off-campus to eat is a must.
36. Attendance goes down on nice spring days.
37. You’re going to overhear some strange stuff in the cafeteria and walking around campus.
38. You’ll run into people you totally forgot about.
39. Laundry becomes an event.
40. Playing video games or watching stupid TV shows becomes a necessary form of stress relief.
41. No one cares what you did in high school.
42. Procrastination becomes a serious problem.
43. Printer ink and paper are like gold.
44. Cliff notes are your friend.
45. It’s perfectly acceptable to put a funny youtube clip or picture in the middle of a presentation.
46. You learn to love large auditorium classes.
47. You can tell a freshman girl from a senior one based on how they dressed and the amount of make-up.
48. Wearing pajamas to class on the day of the final is normal.
49. Your bed time gets later and later.
50. You’re going to gain weight at some point.
51. You’re going to try to lose said weight at some point.
52. People are still idiots.
53. Weather can affect your moods toward class attendance.
54. You find yourself forming strange daily routines.
55. You’re going to fall asleep in class at least once.
56. You day dream just as much as you did in elementary school.
57. One person in the class is always outspoken about some stupid cause or negative political opinion.
58. Hipsters are freaking EVERYWHERE.
59. Studying is an endurance challenge.
60. Duct tape and toilet paper are precious commodities.
61. Spring break is going to cause a lot of breakups once the photos are on Facebook.
62. Papers still suck. Especially if they are just busy work.
63. You meet people who are experts in completely stupid things.
64. The professor often reaches to find things in stories that aren’t really there, like racism in Little Red Riding Hood.
65. The phone that goes off in class always has a really annoying ringtone.
66. Things like Seinfeld, Lost, Arrested Development and The Office become examples in psychology class.
67. Google Translate is a lifesaver in foreign language classes.
68. A good professor makes a world of difference.
69. Friday classes always seem to drag on longer than other ones.
70. Finals week is the most tense week of the semester.
71. Naps are not just for your grandparents any more.
72. Home cooked meals become even more awesome.
73. It feels good to buy your first school t-shirt.
74. There’s always going to be the same people hogging all the couches in the student union.
75. At the end of the day you realize that you still don’t know anything and you’re about to graduate.

Ahh college…

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